my sleeping beauty nemesis

My Arch-nemesis: Sleeping Beauty:

I had an arch-nemesis. I'm not sure whether she even knew she was my arch-nemesis, but she was all the same. You know what I'm talking about. It all started early, early in elementary school. There was this one girl: blond, blue-eyed, beautiful, smart, popular, teachers' favorite, talented, sporty, nice, etc. etc. etc. I loathed her. Now, don't get me wrong. I was pretty smart and talented myself. I was consistantly on the honor roll in school. I was artistic and dramatic. But the thing is that I was horribly unpopular - a nerd who didn't fit into her own skin back then.

That girl had everything I wanted. It wasn't just that she was pretty and popular, she was also a good student. That really sucked. I mean, why can't the popular girls stay in their own realm and make bad grades - why did this one have to come into my realm of academic success. Worse, she sometimes did BETTER than I did in school. Aaaggghhh!!!

I remember one of the lowest blows. It was sixth grade. Our school was putting on Sleeping Beauty. Now, in my imagination, I was a princess. You should have seen me play dress up and prance about my family's farm and conjure all manner of adventures and fairy tale romances to keep me company over the long summers. But for this school play - guess who got the part of the lovely Sleeping Beauty, fairy-tale princess? (Hint, she looked like she stepped right out of the Disney film itself, and she rhymes with "lemesis.") Guess who was cast as a, wait for it . . . a thorn. Yes, that's right, a THORN!!! So nemesis was the lovely Sleeping Beauty, and I had to wear a green leotard and a head-piece reminiscient of the statue of liberty. Of course, I resolved to be the best thorn I could be, and everybody in the front few rows who heard my thorn songs really thought so, I'm sure.

But still . . .

Anyway, we grew up. We were in every single class together all the way through high school. Nemesis was homecoming queen. Nemesis dated the most popular boy. Nemesis kept her high GPA. Nemesis was clearly a stepford teen.

Of High School and Cliques:

A few things happened to me when I was a junior in high school. First off, I grew out my bangs. (This was big for the late 1980s.) Secondly, I got contact lenses. Thirdly, I asked nemesis' ex-boyfriend, (the most popular boy in school) out on a date to the Valentine's day dance.

He said yes.

Now, believe it or not, high school cliques are more complex than we realized. I would like to take a moment to discuss four cliques that I've observed: the popular clique, the nerd clique, the smart clique and a smart-popular clique. Sometime at the end of high school, it is possible for the smart clique and the smart-popular clique to merge. This happened in my school. A number of us who were on the fringes of nerdiness adapted ourselves socially and became the "smart clique." A number of popular kids who just couldn't party any more became the "smart-popular clique." The smarts and the smart-populars banded together early on in our senior year. We were all going to college, after all. We went to parties together and drank non-alcoholic beverages, ate pizza and watched Monty Python.

I was in the smart clique. Nemesis was in the smart-popular clique. Most popular boy in school hung with both. Wow, was he ever a bridge.

Bridging our Differences:

Now this part is going to seem tangential, but it's integral to my story. Ever since I was twelve years old, I knew where my talents and passions were pointing me. I loved English, reading, and writing. I wanted to be an educator. I even proofread my older brother's master's thesis when I was in seventh grade. I made an A in every single English class I ever took. I think I may have even had it over nemesis in English, and you can't imagine what kind of pride I took in that.

Anyone who is a born teacher will tell you that, given a willing student, we will bend over backwards to teach. It is our nature to help other people understand. (We don't go into the occupation for the money but for the intrinsic rewards.)

Anyway, all through senior year, I had to endure social gatherings with my nemesis present. She and I actually talked from time to time. I tried not to think unhappy thoughts about her, but boy was it hard.

I remember one day in AP English class: I was sitting at the front of the class. Nemesis was right behind me - how symbolic - and we were discussing a piece of particularly difficult literature. The teacher left the classroom for some reason, and we were left to write about our discussion. I felt a tapping on my back. I turned around. Nemesis was looking flustered. I asked her what she wanted. She said to me, "Please help me. I just don't understand this."

I'm ashamed to say I cannot remember the literature we were working on. I suppose it's because it doesn't really matter. What mattered was that, at that moment, everything changed for me. I saw my nemesis as a girl, like me, who struggled with things. It didn't even occur to me to gloat that I knew something that she didn't. I just wanted to help her to understand. I answered her questions. I helped her with her writing assignment. After that she and I hung out more, at parties, between classes, sometimes at lunch. I wouldn't say that we became friends, exactly, but I definitely stopped viewing her as my arch-nemesis. We even talked bad about popular boy - who moved on from both of us. (Too bad for him, I think. Last I saw of him, he had flunked out of engineering school. My ex-nemesis went to medical school - you go, girl! I married a medical student, now brilliant and handsome doctor, and went on to become a successful college English instructor.

So, I guess that goes to show you how much high school cliques really matter in the end.)

Flash forward:

But that really isn't the end of the story. Not really. You see, my husband and I have two lovely, beautiful, and brilliant daughters. The eldest is seven years old and doing pretty well in first grade. In her class is a young, stepford child whom she has known since kindergarten. Now this girl is pretty, smart, friendly, popular and trendy. My daughter is frequently kept from being the best in her class because this girl nearly always bests her. Secretly, I'm glad that my daughter has her own nemesis, because it might just keep her somewhat humble. I can't tell you how often stepford-girl has gotten perfect attendance, student of the week, student of the month, etc. etc.

I just found out yesterday that the first graders are putting on a play. It's a musical with only four speaking parts, a revisioning of fairy-tales. One of the parts is, if you can remember this from the beginning of this lengthy blog, karmically: Sleeping Beauty.

But, my daughter's humility is going to have to wait, I suppose . . .

because it was she, and not her nemesis, who got the part of the fairy-tale princess.