And Evil-Jesus was in her Heart....

I have two daughters. Although sometimes they exhibit extremely annoying behaviors and sass the living daylights out of me, at other times their witticisms entertain me greatly.

I thought I'd share.

I might come back here and update occasionally.

1. When our oldest (who is now 9) was about 3 years old, my husband was driving her to preschool, and she asked him why some of the things she did kept getting her into trouble. He tried to explain different concepts of right and wrong to her, including some discussion of God, Jesus and morality. She then patiently explained to him that "evil Jesus was in [her] heart" and that was why she did it.

2. When our second child was born, big sis was ecstatic! Every morning for months, she would jump up and down in our living room as I brought her sister downstairs for the day, "The baby is coming to town!" She would cry over and over, "The baby is coming to town!"

3. I am a passionate breast-feeder (or I was....). My older daughter had some speech problems, and kept talking about her little baby sister really liking Mommy's nibbles. Yes, she would say this in public!

4. Speaking of breast-feeding, inevitably when my husband would pick up the baby, the baby would decide that she really wanted mommy! She turned to me knowingly and said, "She doesn't like Daddy's hairy nibbles!"


My younger daughter, who just turned 5, keeps us giggling, although she hates it when we don't take her seriously.

5. Again, the God/Jesus conversation.... I woke up one morning recently, with her beside me in bed. She said, "Mommy, how can God walk on water?" I said, "Well, I suppose God can do whatever God wants to do." She shook her head and said, "Well, I don't think God can juggle."

6. She was having many nightmares and having trouble sleeping for several months. One morning, a few days ago, I had to wake her up early to get her sister to school. She looked very crossly at me and said, "I was having a very good dream, and YOU crashed it, Mommy!" (As if it was a party that I clearly wasn't invited to.)


More daughterisms to come . . .

Tuppence in Chicago

Let me get one thing straight: I'm not a city girl.

Let me get another thing straight: I like to visit cities occasionally, and glean their culture and learn their lessons.

My family and I just got back from a short trip to Chicago. My husband was at the AMA meeting (didn't get to see Obama, though....we left right before he came.) Some of the time he was in meetings and some of the time he got to sight-see with us.

We hit the following attractions: Millennium Park, The Art Institute of Chicago, The Navy Pier, The Sears Tower (skydeck), The Cadillac Palace Theater (to see Mary Poppins) and a double-decker bus tour of the city (on a nice, sunny afternoon). We sampled the world-renowned Chicago-style pizza at Giordano's and hot dogs at the Navy Pier vendors (upon which no one warned not to put ketchup until it was too late). We froze our butts off, since 75 degrees in the windy city doesn't really feel like 75 degrees, and 65 degrees in the rain feels very, very cold!

I didn't imagine my daughters would like the Art Institute. I drug them along because it housed my all-time favorite painting: Nighthawks, by Edward Hopper. However, they loved it. They loved the layout of the place and the modern art and all of the lights and designs. There was even some interactive art that captivated them.

The girls thought the double-decker bus tour was fantastic. We had a fantastic day for it! The architecture of Chicago is really second to none. Each building and skyscraper is clearly trying to outdo the one beside it. We saw buildings that rippled like water, that spiraled like corncobs, that jutted straight up like monolithic and foreboding rectangles, that hearkened back to a Gothic age, that resembled castles, art nouveau, art deco, modern and ultra modern.

It's really amazing how all the different cities in the U.S. have a different flair and a different personality. New York and Chicago are very, very different towns, as are L.A., Atlanta, Washington D.C. and San Francisco. Seeing these cities make me so proud of our nation.

It also makes me sad, because in all of these cities, my family and I have seen the homeless pulling their greasy blankets around them, too ashamed usually to even beg. I rarely see them in rural America, although they are there too. You don't sight see pedestrian-style in rural America, so you're not forced to step over the sleeping dispossessed.

My daughters were struck by them as well. They didn't even know what questions to ask about the homeless Americans of the streets.

But when we went to see Mary Poppins, the Broadway in Chicago musical, the scene with the Bird Lady haunted all of us. It was more poignant, somehow, for me as an adult than it was when I was a child. When I saw this movie years and years ago, I thought the bird lady was just being nice to the birds. I didn't consider that feeding the birds the breadcrumbs, purchased for tuppence a bag, was her sole source of income.

While we were watching this scene, my older daughter turned to me and said, "Mommy, she's homeless, isn't she?"

I said, "Yes, she is."

"Why does she want us to feed the birds?" My daughter asked.

"Because if you pay her for the bird food, she can have the money to live, honey." I answered.

"Oh. . . are you crying a little, Mommy?" She asked.

"Yes, a little." I responded.

I don't want to count up how much money I spent while we visited Chicago - on airplane tickets, accommodations, meals in restaurants, souvenirs, tours and incidentals. I don't want to count it up because I feel guilty about it.

Early each day to the steps of Saint Paul's
The little old bird woman comes
In her own special way, to the people she calls,
"Come, buy my bags full of crumbs;
Come feed the little birds,
Show them you care
And you'll be glad if you do
Their young ones are hungry
Their nests are so bare
All it takes is tuppence from you
Feed the birds, tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag
Feed the birds," that's what she cries
While overhead, her birds fill the skies

All around the cathedral the saints and apostles
Look down as she sells her wares
Although you can't see it,
You know they are smiling
Each time someone shows that he cares

Though her words are simple and few
Listen, listen, she's calling to you
"Feed the birds, tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence, tuppence a bag"

(I'm proud of the photograph above: Twilight in Chicago - taken by me, 6/11/09)

My Educational Platform - Plank #3: Media Literacy - So now that we're in the 21st Century, what do we do?

I truly believe that any education that does not involve interface with a computer these days is selling the student short.The digital world is the world we live, play, work and socialize in.And it’s not enough to be able to word-process, surf the net, send an email and play games online, you have to be able to know how to find the exact information you need, exactly when you need it.This goes way beyond a Google search, this involves thinking critically about information.The web is a universe unto itself and growing exponentially.

Schools need to embrace it as important as reading, writing, and arithmetic.It’s as simple as that.Like reading, writing and math, each skill set in media literacy is built upon learning the last.You can specialize and submerge yourself into specific areas, but you need a fundamental background in all.Operating a computer connected to the internet is as important as learning how to drive a car, and possibly more so, since you can telecommute from home if you have a computer but no car.I found a definition of exactly what media literacy is, or should be, and offer it below:

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The definition most often cited in the US is a succinct sentence hammered out by participants at the 1992 Aspen Media Literacy Leadership Institute:

Media Literacy is the ability to access, analyze, evaluate and create media in a variety of forms.

Definitions, however, evolve over time and a more robust definition is now needed to situate media literacy in the context of its importance for the education of students in a 21st century media culture. CML now uses this expanded definition:

Media Literacy is a 21st century approach to education. It provides a framework to access, analyze, evaluate and create messages in a variety of forms — from print to video to the Internet. Media literacy builds an understanding of the role of media in society as well as essential skills of inquiry and self-expression necessary for citizens of a democracy. (Center for Media Literacy)

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The digital age, unfortunately, is causing an even further separation between us and the developing world.When we say that the internet connects the world, what we really mean is that the internet connects the developed and free world.I have a friend in Beijing, a professor, who spent several months here as a Fulbright Scholar.He opened a Facebook account before he left, to keep in touch with us as he goes back to work at his university, but he uses a pseudonym to fly beneath the radar of Chinese censorship.Although he is Chinese and wants to help move China forward, he claims that he can’t do it from within China, because its government is so stifling and corrupt.

And it is hard for my children, who are growing up in a three-TV, three-computer, two-ipod, one-Nintendo DS, one wii, and a built-in DVD player in our car- household, to understand what it could be like having to walk miles each day for drinking water, to go hungry and cold, and to not be able to read, let alone have the privilege of a public education.I’m hoping that media literacy education can help us find a way to use our media tools to help our disadvantaged brethren the world over.

My Educational Platform - Plank #2: Liberal Arts -Is Liberal a Bad Thing?

It keeps coming around in circles:the philosophical struggle between educators who believe in a liberal arts education model and those who believe in the technical, or job-preparedness model.

I could write a book about this, but I’m going to limit myself here to two main issues:1.Liberal arts is not what it used to be. and2.To quote Robert Heinlein:“A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.”

Many arts students balk at the idea of taking in-depth mathematics or sciences courses, just as many science students balk at the idea of taking upper level literature or humanities courses, but the point of a liberal arts education is the concept of the fully rounded individual.You really never know what information will be helpful or useful to you and when.My dad always used to tell me that algebra taught you how to think and learning it taught you how to learn.I may have hated it, but it did make a part of my mind work that I didn’t tend to use otherwise.The same is true for my friends who were in calculus and advanced physics when they had to take Shakespearean literature.They were using mental muscles that they didn’t want to use, but it was good for them.

The concept of a “liberal arts education” got a bad rap with working class America because “they [were] the arts appropriate to free persons, that is, persons who do not have to work for a living and have the leisure to pursue their interests in literature or philosophy.”(Wayne Bivens-Tatum:The Usefulness of the Liberal Arts)My father, who is a very politically conservative and shrewd and smart businessman, went to a business school on the G.I. bill after the Korean war.He financed my “liberal arts” education, but not without picking on me ruthlessly for becoming “liberal” for going to that school.But that is really no longer what a liberal arts education is.Today, employers are looking for individuals who can think themselves out of a crisis, who can meet a problem with creativity and finesse, who know how to learn new tools, who can look at historical and social precedent and interpret future trends, and who are strong communicators, both written and oral:in short, they want technologically-savvy people who have had a strong liberal arts education. (Think of Anne Hathaway's character in The Devil Wears Prada.)

My husband is a very, very good physician.He is one of a dying breed:a primary care doctor.It’s dying because insurance plans don’t like to cover preventative care, and people like to feel like they’re being treated by a “specialist.”However, primary care physicians ARE specialists:they are specialists in the whole of the body.Tim went to a medical school that was entrenched in the family medicine bio-psycho-social model – meaning the whole of a person’s physical health needs to be treated in relation to that person’s life, family, work, and mind.The human body, when opened up, appears to be a tangled and messy amalgamation of gloppy stuff – not sharply delineated, specific organs.The body works together as a whole, not discretely.Incidentally, my husband had a strong liberal arts education.He majored in theater and dance.One of his good friends in medical school was a philosophy major.Yes, they both got the requisite math and science they needed, but the whole of their education was so much more.

One of my biggest sadnesses as a community college instructor is to see students who have short-changed their education, or had their education short-changed over the years, now try to make a go of higher education without the prior knowledge to do well. Sometimes we have older students on the trade act who have just a few short semesters to get trained in a new career before they're funding gets taken away. This is battling really bad odds for them and for me, their teacher. Most of them have developmental needs. Most of them have been out of school so long, they can feel their mental muscles complaining over their school work. Many of them don't have the media literacy, the writing skills, or the math skills necessary to be trained in ANY decent career path. It's sobering and frightening.

Frequently I get recent high school graduates who never applied themselves to school a day in their lives, for whatever reason, show up the first day of class and think they're going to make it as "college" students. Some of them show up in English 080, and can't figure out why they ended up there. I've told all of these students that I wish I could go back in time to when they were children and somehow turn them into readers, real readers who read for pleasure - who see education as an adventure, not a torture. What I really and truly wish I could do is get them to embrace education for its own sake, because like I said before, you never know what piece of knowledge is going to be valuable to you at some future point in your life and career.

My Educational Platform - Plank #1: Ability Tracking - Birds on a Wire

(We've been asked to write up our educational platform in the course I'm taking for my graduate certificate in online instruction. I could write a book about this, but I'm gonna keep it to three "planks" in my platform for now.)

The Story:

I was a bright child. However, when I was in kindergarten and first grade, I scored consistently poor- to average in my coursework. My parents were befuddled, and I was frustrated. I was "tracked" into a lower (not upper) level curriculum. This curriculum was slower and not as challenging...and certainly not as interesting. I continued to do poorly, even in the "easier" curriculum.
My parents knew me and knew I was capable of doing better. They were so confused. They had conferences with my teachers; nothing seemed to help.
One day, I was taking a walk with mom and dad down our gravel road on a lovely early evening after dinner. I happened to glance up at the telephone lines and see something I couldn't identify. I asked my parents what those black dots were up there on the lines. They looked in the direction I was pointing and saw me squinting up at a troop of birds flapping their wings - which I could see only as dark blurry dots. It all became clear - to them, not to me - that their bright little girl simply needed glasses to correct astigmatism and near-sightedness. After I got the glasses and could see clearly for the first time in years (I never even knew the world could be so sharp and focused) I started to make high scores in all of my coursework.
But I remained tracked in the lower level for several grades regardless. Untracking me, or "re"tracking me was like steering the Titanic. Once you're labeled mediocre, that's how you continue to be perceived in the public schools. It wasn't until a particularly feisty 4th grade teacher petitioned for me to be put in a higher level in 5th grade that I got in with the bright kid crowd...and stayed there until I graduated, with honors, from high school.

My Experiences Since Then:

That story no doubt would leave readers to believe that I think ability tracking is inherently wrong. I do not. One of the hardest things for a teacher to deal with effectively is teaching a class full of students with a large range of ability levels. (My grandma did it in a one-room school house in West Virginia.) You can make all kinds of arguments for how the bright kids are supposed to teach the not-so-bright kids, but then, how is that fair to the bright kids? We know that kids who are not challenged in school tend to act out. We know that kids who are overwhelmed in school tend to act out. I’ve taught adults in developmental English classes who range from barely literate to just a point away from assessing into ENG 111 – how do I meet the needs of both and assess them fairly???

This being said, if we are going to separate out kids and adults based on their ability levels, we must bear three things in mind: 1. These levels are not and should not be thought of as permanent. You can assess out of them. (Upwards or downwards.) 2. We should not stick our new and unproven teachers in the lower levels, but rather our most talented and proven teachers – since the remedial programs require the most teaching talent and skill. 3. We need to build true learning communities regardless of the students’ skill levels. Learning must be a challenging but fun and uplifting environment. This will be no simple task, since kids and adult who are placed in “remedial” classes tend to already be antagonistic towards formal education. (Usually because they have been marginalized by it in the past.)

Crappy Hypothyroidism

Figured out why I was sooooooooo tired (besides stress and work).....my thyroid levels are way off.....trying to get the medication back on track now.

Wish me luck.

too tired

I'm too tired to blog.

I'm gonna take another break.

birdhouses of thought says goodbye for now.

My new friend is leaving . . .

So my friend Yongjia, a colleague serving as a fellow from China this year, is planning a big Chinese New Year celebration. We're all getting into planning the party for the year of the Ox. I'm taking him to Party City tomorrow to gather decorations. He's going to cook dumplings and download some music. We're going to play poker, treat the children with good luck money bags, and wear red underwear!

I live in a very small southern town, and we teach together at a community college. I gotta give props to Yongjia for deciding to spend his fellowship in absolute middle America, rather than a big shiny city. He's seeing laid-off Americans struggle through remedial college courses, struggle to pay for gasoline, and elect the first ever president of color. He's a cultural anthropologist, soaking up everything around him every single day that he's here. He came over to our house for Christmas Eve dinner and even went to church with us. My friends and colleagues and I took him to the Renaissance Fair and his first drive thru. We managed to get Yongjia to quit smoking, fed him turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes for the first time, and had him over to to micro-brew some beer. We have explained our expressions, our beliefs and our customs, and he's done his best to explain his. All in all, it's been one of the best examples of multicultural interpersonal communication I've ever seen.

And, the interesting thing about it is that he doesn't want to leave now.

He's excited to be going home to see his wife, but that's about all. China makes him unhappy. He feels oppressed there. I asked him if it was meaningful to him to go back to China and try to change it for the better, and he said that it wasn't possible for one man to do so. He views the government leaders there as corrupt. He came to our Halloween party and got to vote on best costume - joking that this was the first time he was ever able to vote. Interestingly enough, he won for best costume as well - dressing up as Zhong Kui, the Chinese Ghost Warrior.

He told me today that his mother thinks he's getting too fat, eating our American food. I laughed and told him that this was the opposite of the traditional American mother, who tends to want to feed you until you pop. (Or at least my mom does.) Of course, I reminded him that the quitting smoking probably had more to do with him eating more than his being in America, and surely a few extra pounds are better than carcinogens, right?

But I worry for Yongjia. I don't want his inquisitiveness and sense of humor swallowed up by censorship. I don't want his personal and professional choices to be limited by his government. I don't want his opportunities to decline or disappear entirely. In short, I want him to have the opportunities he would surely have here.

I plan to continue communicating with Yongjia after he returns to China next month - my new e-pal. Maybe the shrinking of the world through electronic communication will help ease his transition back into Manchurian culture. He tells us that his university will be sending another fellow, this time a woman, to take his place here, teaching his Chinese and cultural studies courses. I hope she can hold a candle to his friendliness and charm.

In the end, I'm sure she will be great. She'll be an individual, not like any other Chinese citizen. She'll be herself, with plenty of things for us to teach her and plenty of things for us to learn from her.

But I'll really miss hanging out with Yongjia.

好运气！

Good luck, Yongjia

And, to top it off, I'll be 37 in 9 short months . . .

2009 seems so odd to me.

It's an awkward-sounding year. 2000 was nice and round. 2008 was a big and crazy election year. 2010 sounds so fascinating and science-fictiony. But 2009 dawns bulky and worrisome for me.

I visited Washington D.C. over the holidays, and it's gearing up for the biggest event this side of the American Revolution - the inauguration of Barack Obama. Regardless of my or others' political views, my greatest feeling as we near January 20th is that I am fearful for the safety of our nation's capital. Not just the architecture and our various assortment of national treasures, monuments, museums, and government leaders, but for the untold scores of souls that will be descending upon the Potomac's shores to be part of this historic occasion. I can't help but think "What if all the safety measures, anti-terrorism plans, and military might can't stop an attack on the US on this day?" What if the unbelievable happened? What if the man upon whom so many have invested their future is destroyed before he can bring about his change? What if this gathering of our nations' leaders is wiped out? What if the 2-4 million Americans expected to attend are killed in one fell swoop?

Would this be the end of our nation?

Heady thought, that. I shuddered as I typed it just now. I don't know whether I really believe it could happen, but I find myself making myself think about it.

But say that it doesn't happen. What then? If all goes according to plan, and the inauguration goes well and happily, and Obama's presidency begins (relatively) smoothly, and Comedy Central loses the majority of its entertainment fodder, and we all go back into our daily lives, what then? What does 2009 possibly have in store?

I cannot speak for anyone but myself. I plan on making 2009 a year of resolution and restrategizing. I need to get myself healthy again, by taking better care of myself and making more time for my kids. I need to work smarter instead of harder. I need to pray for more patience and wisdom to deal with my personal and professional life. I need to enjoy life beyond simply struggling to live it.

2009 is the year of my 15th undergraduate college reunion. It's the year of my 14th wedding anniversary. It's the year I turn 37, my oldest daughter turns 9, my youngest daughter turns 5 (ack!) and my husband turns 40! But I'm not there yet. I still cling strongly to 36. I have little desire to see my children leave 8 and 4, and, although I have some preliminary plans for celebrating my husband's 40th, I'm a long way away from taking action on them.

In the meantime, I'm in the middle of an academic school year. I don't generally think of the year as a January - December affair - I'm on the August - May plan. I'm in the middle of fixing the courses that I taught last semester, making them better for my spring semester students. I'm in the middle of a new series of books that I seem to be enjoying reading. (The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart - juv fiction.) I'm in the middle of trying to figure out how I'm going to work in the energy and determination to exercise every day. (It's January 5th, and, since it's only now a Monday, I still haven't officially started that resolution yet...... check back with me next posting to see how that's going.) I'm in the middle of remembering myself as a young, exuberant woman, and imagining myself as an old, wise (but tired) one.

2009 is the year for me to face the reality that I'm no longer young, but I refuse to be old. (I believe Marilyn Monroe was 36 when she decided she'd stop there; I don't agree with the suicide-as-youth-preservation approach.) It's the year for me to be kind to others, pray for the safety and advancement of our nation and our nation's hopes and dreams, and do my part to help advance those hopes and dreams. I like the future. I look forward to finishing a novel someday, seeing my children become teenagers (sort of) and getting a woman who knows what she's doing into the White House's center seat.

But it's still an awkward-sounding year. I wrote a check this morning and dated it appropriately, but it took a lot of concentration to do so. I'm certain it will be 2010 before I've decided to fully embrace this awkward and odd year - 2009.

But cheers, anyway - a bit belatedly. Welcome to 2009!